Identity Thief Will Steal Your Time and Your Money

 

Courtesy of Imdb

Courtesy of Imdb

Starring comic geniuses Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy, Identity Thief leaves the audience surprisingly disappointed. The film tells the story of a married man, Batemen, with two kids and another on the way, who has his identity stolen by a woman, McCarthy, in Florida. In order to get his finances and life back on track, he must travel to Florida and bring the woman back to his hometown in Colorado so she can clean up the mess she created. What Bateman thought was going to be an easy mission turned out to be a dangerous road-trip across the country with debt collectors and bounty hunters on their trail. The film has few redeeming qualities, and even fewer comedic moments that make you genuinely laugh. If you do laugh, it may not be because the content of the scene is funny, but rather because you don’t know any other way to process what you’re seeing or hearing. The writers failed miserably at adding depth to their characters, which leaves the audience not caring what happens to them. The plot also lacks background information, which makes the story confusing and makes you wonder why the hell any of it is happening. Identity Thief is the kind of movie you wait to rent on your movies-on-demand channel or go to the grocery store to rent it from the redbox for a dollar. This comedic catastrophe is not worth the price of a movie ticket, so save your money. You can enjoy all of the funny scenes of the movie in the two and a half minute trailer below.

Safe Haven, A Safe Choice

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Courtesy of Imdb

 Safe Haven is the newest addition to the film adaptations of the romance novels by Nicholas Sparks, best known for The Notebook, Dear John, The Last Song, and The Lucky One. The film stars Josh Duhamel, best known for his roles in Transformers and When in Rome, and Julianne Hough who recently starred in the reboot of Footloose. The film begins with Hough’s character running away from home, and a detective that is searching for her. While on the run, Hough comes across a little coastal town in North Carolina, and decides to make it her temporary home. Hough soon falls in love with a man that works at the local convenience store, played by Duhamel, who lost his wife a couple years ago and is a single father of two. The couple lives in bliss for a while, but Hough’s past soon catches up with her, and she must face her demons. The chemistry between Hough and Duhamel is undeniable, and the plot leaves little to be desired. The film gives the audience a taste of romance, suspense, action, and mystery. It’s great for women who love cheesy story-lines, and it’s tolerable for the boyfriends or spouses they drag with them. This newest edition of Sparks’ romance collection isn’t as epic or heart-wrenching as The Notebook, but it is a solid followup that is worth the price. The two lead actors aren’t too hard on the eyes either, which is a nice bonus. Check out the trailer below. 

A Good Day to Die Hard, A Good Day at the Movies.

Courtesy of Imdb

Courtesy of Imdb

A Good Day to Die Hard is the fifth installment in the Die Hard film franchise starring Bruce Willis as John McClane, a crime fighting cop that seems to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the last film, Live Free or Die Hard, we were introduced to John McClane’s daughter, in this film we meet his estranged son, John McClane Jr, played by Australian actor Jai Courtney. The film starts off with McClane finding out his son, who he hasn’t seen in three years, is in a Moscow prison. As most fathers would, McClane travels to Moscow to try to help his son get out of whatever mess he has gotten himself into. You might be surprised to know that everything doesn’t go the way he plans, and he once again finds himself in the middle of a dangerous plot that could endanger millions of people. Courtney manages to grab the audience and portray a believable counterpart to Willis’ famous character. The two actors create a father and son duo that is filled with testosterone and the constant need to bicker, but when it’s time to get serious the two buckle down and put their feelings aside for the greater good. The film gives the audience the feeling that Willis is passing the torch to Courtney, it will be interesting to see where the franchise goes from here. Will Willis reprise his role for a sixth time, will Courtney take over, or is this the end for the widely acclaimed film series? We’ll just have to wait and see. 

Movie 43, 43 Ways to Make Your Stomach Turn

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Picture Courtesy of Imdb

 

Brought to you by the creators of movies such as Hall Pass, Shallow Hal, There’s Something About Mary, and Dumb & Dumber, Movie 43 is a multi-sketch movie filled with a-list actors. In the movie you’ll find actors such as Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Dennis Quaid, Emma Stone, Greg Kinnear, Kristen Bell, Gerard Butler, and so many more. You’ll also find a plethora of vulgar jokes, offensive language, and obscene images. The scenes in this movie have a special way of making the audience as uncomfortable as humanly possible. The movie starts out with a seemingly normal plot when Quaid’s character presents a movie idea to a film executive played by Kinnean. This scene is what ties the whole movie together, and every following sketch is part of Quaid’s pitch. His pitch includes sketches such as a blind date with a weird twist, a couple that becomes too close, and parents that have awful child-rearing techniques. The sad thing about this movie is, despite the fact that you know the entire movie has crossed every moral line in existence, you may still find yourself laughing. If not because the jokes are funny, then because you don’t know how to handle the absurdity that you have just payed to see. With a 5% rating on rottentomatoes.com, one of the lowest ratings on the website, Movie 43 has somehow managed to make a profit in the box office. Who knows how they did it, but with their all-star cast they were able to seduce their audience, and convince them to spend money on this chaotic piece of “art”.